It depends on whether or not the president who ordered it is a progressive liberal Democrat.
The Biden administration’s recent airstrikes in eastern Syria should serve as a stark reminder that when a Democrat orders such strikes on a Middle Eastern country, it is qualitatively distinct from when, say, Donald Trump ordered airstrikes on the very same country. When a Democrat does it, it’s totally progressive and therefore justified. There’s no reason to think otherwise so long as a nearly octogenarian Democrat president who clearly exhibits signs of advancing dementia gave the order, the key difference being that his is the most woke and diverse U.S. administration ever. When Trump did it, it clearly demonstrated that America’s own version of Adolf Hitler was calling all the shots, and was therefore wrong on every level.
Completely different situation, as you can see.
You may wonder why the U.S. targeted Iran-backed groups that have been fighting against the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the religious fanatics who are ideologically similar to the same guys who slaughtered nearly 3,000 people in New York City and Washington, D.C. on 9/11/01. If that raises any critical questions in your mind, just push them out. Democrats are in charge now, thank goodness, and Democrats are all-wise and all-knowing. They know what they’re doing so you’ll just have to trust them and accept every word out of their mouths as gospel truth. The adults are back in charge! So if the Biden administration says whomever they’ve bombed in Syria were the same people who attacked coalition forces in Erbil, Iraq a couple of weeks before, with a U.S. soldier and a military contractor among the injured and dead, then you don’t need a single shred of evidence from them that supports their claim.
Now, at this point, if you’re a typical American reading this, a rather uncomfortable question may have just popped up in your head — “Wait, we’re still in Iraq???”
Yes we are! But it’s completely okay now that liberal progressive Democrats are back running the White House. Nearly eighteen years after President George W. Bush put together the aforementioned coalition that invaded Iraq and overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein, a former client regime of the U.S. that had never fired a single shot against any U.S. forces except in self-defense, and which turned out to not have the massive cache of WMD that Bush claimed it was hiding, the U.S. does still maintain a small contingent of about 2,500 troops.
Despite President Barack Obama’s best efforts to effectively extend the U.S. occupation of Iraq beyond the Dec. 31st, 2011 deadline negotiated by Bush with the Iraqi government — an extension that would have been perfectly justified because he is, of course, a good liberal progressive Democrat — his hand was forced to begin withdrawing U.S. troops after Chelsea Manning — then Pvt. Bradley Manning at the time — leaked out some rather unflattering documentation of U.S. war crimes in Iraq. Those leaks included the notorious “collateral murder” video that showed U.S. troops gunning down a Reuters photojournalist, a camera assistant, their bodyguards, and several other civilians, including two children, from Apache helicopters hovering above, almost as if they were shooting fish in a barrel.
But the U.S. still needed to keep some troops in Iraq, you see, especially to guard that massive embassy in Baghdad, the largest embassy in the world. It nearly rivals Vatican City in terms of total acreage, so it requires an awful lot of security.
The latest troop reduction in Iraq was ordered by the Orange Hitler administration. Withdrawing troops from a country that was invaded under a false pretext in the first place doesn’t seem very Hitlery, but Democrats and their media buddies shrieked and screamed for over four years that Donald Trump was Literally The Second Coming of Adolf Hitler, so there must be a perfectly reasonable explanation for the inconsistency. The Democrats are the adults, the grown-ups, the completely objective scientific experts, so they should know.
One should also keep in mind that U.S. assistance for Islamist radicals in the Middle East is nothing new. Uncle Joe stands on a tradition that goes back to the late 1970s, when President Jimmy Carter, another good progressive liberal, started assisting Islamist radicals in Afghanistan. Carter’s Republican successors, Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, happily kept up the tradition for years afterward as the Mujahadeen resisted the Soviet occupation, of course. But obviously Democrat administrations would have done a much better job of arming religious fanatics in the 1980s.
More recently, President Obama, Uncle Joe’s old boss, gave arms and assistance to Islamist militants in Syria in an attempt to destabilize Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s regime with the hope of eventually bringing it down. The Obama administration subsequently found itself confronting ISIS, which had taken a good chunk of Syrian and Iraqi geography. They then reached an agreement with Iran over its nuclear program so that the Iranians could play a major role in going after ISIS, who, like most Islamist groups, were comprised of radical Sunnis, Shi’a-dominated Iran’s regional adversaries. This sounds a little confusing, I know. I mean, the U.S. government was funneling weapons and other types of assistance to radical Sunni groups in an attempt to overthrow Assad while simultaneously combating ISIS, a radical Sunni group? But here’s the explanation that should neatly tidy it all up in your mind: It was Democrats in charge of the whole thing.
So you see, Uncle Joe obviously had to bomb those Iranian backed militias in Syria, who had been combating ISIS and other radical Islamist militants, and who started doing so after Uncle Joe’s old boss gave the green light to Iran in the first place. That’s because, motivated by reasons that have yet to be determined, those Iran-aligned militias most definitely had to be the same people who attacked the coalition personnel in Erbil, Iraq. They just had to be. How did the Biden administration know it was them, and not, say, someone else, like any scattered remnants of ISIS? Here’s the beauty of it: They obviously don’t know. But they’re Democrats, you guys. They still somehow intuitively know what’s what, hard evidence or no.
When Donald Trump drone-assassinated a high-ranking Iranian general last year, a general who was a top ranking commander in Iran’s campaign against ISIS, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing. But whenever good progressive liberal Democrats let the bombs drop and missiles fly in the Middle East, you can bet your bottom dollar that they know exactly what they’re doing. They’re killing all the right people for all the right reasons, no doubt about it.
And if you’ve developed any nagging concerns about that U.S. deployment of B-1 bombers in Norway just before Biden declared that he would never accept the Russian annexation of Crimea, which happened several years ago, or the sailing of U.S. warships through the Strait of Taiwan, you can just set those concerns aside. There’s nothing particularly dangerous about those maneuvers at all because the Democrats are in charge.
You can sleep easy tonight and every night, my friends.